goals and dreams

So the other day, I got nothing done that I planned to do.  But I did get something else done. I didn’t get the house cleaned and I didn’t get any clothes packed up, but I did get my Christmas List started.  No, not the list of gifts I am going to GIVE people, the list of things I WANT from people.  How awful is that?  The Dickson side of my family is doing a name-exchange for Christmas gifts and they want everyone to give 3-5 gifts that they would like so that it makes the gift search easier.  And I hate answering the question from my parents, “so what do you want for Christmas?”.  So I went to target.com and made a Wish List of things for the house, things for me, and things for Charlotte.  Sure, it wasn’t what I set out to do, but it was an accomplishment and something that was on my list of things to do… so maybe it equals out.  I also got 2 loads of laundry done.

On another note, I’ve had some crazy dreams lately.  The other night, Jennifer Spinks was a double agent and we had a showdown in the airport.  Then last night I had a dream that there was a polar bear in my backyard and then a kitten/bunny thing jumped into the pot that was cooking on the stove and then a big cat joined it.  (That one could have come from an episode of Life that Jamie and I watched just before bed where the killer guy had a house full of kittens — creepy).  I think I need to stop eating brownies at night …

this is why

We have two dogs, Shiloh and Sophie, both German Shepherd mixes.  And we are dog-sitting my madre’s dog, Hershey the old Sheltie.  It’s cold outside so I decided to be nice and let them come in the house.  I haven’t done that in weeks.  And I now remember why.  One of them has gas, can’t tell which one.  So I’m sitting here typing this with my shirt up over my nose.  This is why I don’t let them in. They stink. I kinda wish this blog was scratch-n-sniff so you could share in the fun.

give and take

There are so many things that I want to do.  There are so many things that I need to do.  But then there are the things that actually get done.  I have all these big, grandiose ideas of the kind of person I want to be, as a wife, a mother, a friend; but yet the daily minute decisions I make do not lead me to that destination.  When I could be reorganizing my house to be more efficient, I choose to read some blogs.  When I could call a friend to come over for lunch, I decide that I have too much “house work” to do to take the time out.  I want to start a new blog, I want to write a book, I want to learn a new language, I want to learn to play an instrument, I want to make homemade stuff, I want to be “that mom”.  But what am I doing?  Eating breakfast at 9:30am watching The Starter Wife’s newest episode on Hulu.

I don’t know where it is, I’d have to look it up (and probably should have, but yet, it was just another one of those decisions…), but I think Paul in the Bible talked about doing the things he didn’t want to and not doing the things he wanted to.  I want to want to do things, if that makes sense.  Its not enough to think about doing things, I have to actually do them.  There are a couple of small town churches near my house that I pass everyday that have those signs outside that they put sayings on like “don’t let worry kill you, let the church help”.  One of them says: “Reputation- built on follow through, not intended to”.  So profound.  We judge ourselves by our intentions but others by thier actions.  I intended to call my friend, but didn’t, yet I still give myself a pat on the back for thinking about it.  But when no one calls me to check on me, I get sad.  I know I’m not alone in this, but its still just so silly.

I think each day I will have a small goal or two to accomplish that will help me get one step closer to accomplishing my long term goals.  Today’s tasks – clean the house and package up clothes to give away.

What are you doing today that’s pushing you forward?

i found the song

I’ll always remember the movie “My Girl”.  Vega, the little girl, always sang a song when she was upset.  It was a song that her mother had sang to her, and it comforted her, even though her mother wasn’t there.  I’ve always wanted to have “that song” to sing to my kids, that whenever they heard it, whenever they needed it, it could comfort them.  Before Charlotte was born I was on the hunt for “that song”.  Jo Suo told me to pick a song and always sing it when she was upset to calm her down, then it would stick with her.  He did that with Scarlet.  I wanted one with a good message, one that would remind her of how much I loved her and how special she is to me.  So I had picked “Come What May”.  Yeah, I know, its from the Moulin Rouge sound track, but it has an amazing message.  “Come what may, I will love you, until my dying day.”  When I was pregnant with Charlotte, I would sing that in the car.  But after she was born, that song just didn’t seem to fit.  Its not that I won’t love her forever, its just that the song style didn’t really fit our relationship.  So I’ve been on the hunt.  And I think I have found “the one”.

It is bubbly and fun, like us, its upbeat and happy, and I can actually sing it without sounding too much like a goober.  I may have found the winner.  Do any of you have a special song for your kids?

i had that dream again

Yeah, you know, that one.  But this time it turned out a little different.  Instead of getting to school and not knowing where to go, I only couldn’t find my locker.  There was a bulletin board that had a list of everyone’s locker number, but next to my name it said “3900 something”.  In the room where the lockers were, there were bajillions of lockers, and all I knew was that mine was “3900 something”. Great. Thanks for that.  But somehow I got to all my classes and knew where everything was.  Strange.

Any thoughts?

the battle is won … but the war??

I have had a battle the past few days with the smoke detectors in our house.  Well, actually, its been more than a few days. Let me start at the beginning.

One evening many months ago (before I was pregnant, I think), Jamie and I were just laying down to go to sleep, and all the smoke detectors in the house went off.  One started, then they all started shrieking.  So of course we got up and checked the house. We didn’t find/see/smell anything and they stopped on their own, so we thought it was just a weird power surge or something.  So we laid back down … and not 5 minutes later, they did it again.  So we looked again, and decided that the batteries were probably just low and we’d change them tomorrow.  So we turned out the lights again. Five minutes later, the lamp turned on. Jamie laughed and said, “Did you have your quiet time today? I think the Holy Spirit is trying to say something!”

Well, the smoke detectors stopped going off and we forgot about it.  Until last week.  They started doing it again.  AT around 11am, they would go off every 5 minutes for about an hour, then stop.  A few days would go by, and they’d do it again.  So yesterday while I was at the store, I did it. I got new batteries.  I changed them today … and the screaching has stopped.  So we’ll see if that fixed the problem.

**UPDATE: I posted that post at 10:30am.  At 12:42, 12;45, 12:47, and 12:49 the smoke alarms went off again.  Then at 1:00pm a car horn was going off in the neighborhood every 5-10 minutes for the whole hour. What is the deal??

and now to finish it up

Here are the pictures and notes from Sunday and Monday, the last two days of my Week In The Life project.  Now all I have to do is put it all together in a scrapbook.

Only the best for Sunday!

Look, Ma! Two hands!

Tamby Bichelle teaching Stage20

Sunday, October 19, 2008

• My alarm woke up at 6:55am, and so did my daughter.  Breakfast, diaper change, playtime, nap and shower.
• Left the house at 10:30am, usually go to the 11am service, but had gone to church night before.  This weekend Pastor Steve was appreciating all the staff pastors and we had said we would be at the 11am service, so I came “into town” for that.
• Got to church at 11am, fed Charlotte, went into service for Pastor Appreciation.
• Met Mom and Aunt Christine at McDonald’s @ Triangle Town Center for lunch while Jamie had a meeting. Then went to Cynthia’s house until Jamie’s meeting was over. Then picked up Jamie and went home.
• Hung out at the house for a while, fed Charlotte at 3pm.  Jamie studied, I played on the internet while Charlotte napped.
• Left for church at 5pm, arrived at 5:30pm.  Sunday night service was good, as usual, especially when Jamie teaches.  (My mom even came for the first time! And it didn’t freak her out!)
• Fed Charlotte at 7:30pm, then Jamie took her home for Daddy-Daughter-Sunday-Night.
• Stage20 from 8pm-10:30pm.  Tammy taught the last message in the “Chase The Lion” series. Awesome!
• Came home, fed Charlotte and put her to bed for the night.  Then I put myself to bed for the night!

King of the Hill.  (I could write an essay about how this picture depicts the socio-economic classes in America. But I’ll spare you.)

Look what I found at the State Fair!

A good depiction of the “clientel” of the North Carolina State Fair.

Monday, October 20, 2008

• 7am starts the day.  Fed Charlotte, checked my blogs, showered while she napped.  Jamie had a meeting with some guy at 8:30am at Cameron Village, so he left when I woke up!
• Left the house at 10:30am, met Jamie at my mom’s house.  Fed Charlotte, then we left to go to the State Fair.  (I’ll blog about the fair later … I must contain myself for now!)
• Got to the fair around 12:30pm.  Al’s Fries, a Coke, and a Corn Dog for me, and a Turkey Leg and Coke for Jamie.
• Walked to let the food settle, then we made our way towards the Midway for the rides.
• We were going to ride our traditional Zipper, until we saw The Vortex.  We waited in line for that, and as we were about to get on, one of the workers came out to clean some girl’s hair out of the gears.  She apparently didn’t read the sign that said “tie back long hair”. But they got it cleaned out, we paid the ungodly amount of tickets and climbed in. … It was amazing.
• Went walking some more, Jamie got a pickle and I got chocolate covered peanuts.  Bought some fudge and Jamie got Jalepeno Wisconsin Cheese Sticks (mmm, hot Wisconsin Cheese).
• Saw the animals, walked some more, walked even more, then decided it was time to go home.
• Total Mullet count: 5
• Total Fanny pack count: 1
• Total distance walked: 5.6 miles
• Picked up Charlotte from Mom’s, went to drop her off at Cynthia’s before dance class.
• Patrick was covered in grease from his truck and asked Jamie to help him fix something, like the steering something or the other… so we missed dance class.
• Finally went home at 10pm exhausted.  Fed Charlotte and put us all to bed!

ER breaks my heart

Like so many in my generation, some of the defining and memorable moments of my life have been associated with television.  Dawsons Creek made me realize that teenage drama is lame.  M*A*S*H taught me that good friends never go away, they can live forever in re-runs.  Star Trek taught me that many people are petty and “too cool” to admit the things they love (be honest, you know you love Star Trek, especially TNG!).  The Care Bears showed me that when you all get together, you can stare down any enemy.  The Pretender taught me that I can be anything I want to be, especially if I am motivated by bringing down an evil company that exploits children.  Lost showed me that you cannot judge people too quickly, and calling a group of people The Others is just not nice.  And then there is ER.

I love this show. I hate this show.  Its like when you bite the inside of your cheek and it hurts like a monkey, but you just keep licking it.  I used to watch ER religiously with my parents growing up.  But after Dr. Green died, I quit.  The last scene of his letter pinned to the bulletin board and flying away in the wind … still chokes me up.  Its just not right to mess with a young girls heart that way.  Dr. Green was a great man, a great doctor, and the stupid writers of that show had to give the man a brain tumor. How wrong is that? But I got over that heartbreak.  Or so I thought.

I was surfing Hulu.com today looking for something to occupy some time, and I saw that they had new episodes of ER, so I thought I’d check it out.  They had last season’s finale and all the new episodes of this season.  So I watched the finale, which ended with an ambulance exploding and the cliffhanger of not knowing which Dr’s life was in peril… which meant I had to watch the premier.  And then the evil writers of ER did it to me again.  They killed him. Without warning, without reason, they killed him.  I never really liked him, but it was still wrong of them to kill them. (Who’s “him”, you ask?  I don’t want to spoil it for you!)  So here I sit, with the wounds of my heart ripped back open, tears running down my cheeks, and pouring my hurt out to you, dear readers.  I hate ER.

Thanks for letting me get that out. It helps…

**UPDATE:  I thought that since they already killed one person this season, that things could only get better, so I watched the newest episode of the season.  I was wrong.  I seriously think they are trying to get rid of the entire cast this season.  At least she didn’t die … but watching her drive away was still tough.  Sigh. Will I ever learn?

my name means what?

I think the meaning of names is very important.  Everytime you speak to a person and call them by name, you are confessing over them whatever thier name means.  Charlotte Elizabeth = Warrior Princess.  For giggles I looked up my name. I knew that Jennifer was Gaelic for White Wave, but I found out something interesting.  Jennifer is actually an English version of Gwynhywfar which is Welsh for “Fair Phantom” … white ghost. And my middle name is Lynn which means “from the lake”.  So my name means “White Ghost From The Lake”.  That’s just weird.  So my name would make me sound like one of those creepy old ladies that hang out by thmeselves at lakes and come out at night to scare people.  Thats sad.  I should change my name. I don’t know what I’d change it too though … and besides, I probably wouldn’t answer to it anyway. Oh well. So what does your name mean?

Friday & Saturday – Pictures & Notes

As promised…

Waiting for Dr. Joe the Chiropractor (and waiting, and waiting, and waiting, lol)

on the way home from Dr. Joe (Tabitha made that bib, ain’t it cute!)

found this on the fridge, don’t know who wrote it.

Friday, October 17, 2008

• Alarm goes off at 6:55am (and 7:04 and 7:13am). Wake Charlotte up for breakfast
• Playtime, call Chiropractor to get appointment for today
• Shower and pack up to go to Chiropractor.
• Get corrected, oh how I love Dr. Joe!
• Came home, watched “Into The Wild” … great movie, but ruined my desire to see Alaska.
• I headed to the church to meet everyone going on the Stage20 Camping Trip, then came home.
• Fed Charlotte and watched something … don’t remember what, so it obviously wasn’t too amazing.
• Went to bed.

caught on camera!

I learned so much!

I love this church!

Saturday, October 18, 2008

• For greater details, see post below “sorry about that…”
• Woke up at 7am, fed Charlotte, Jamie played with her while I got ready
• Leading Ladies class 9am-4pm
• Church 6pm-8pm
• Got Charlotte fed and put in bed by 9:30pm.
• Got a bowl of cereal (a mixture of 2 since my fave only had a little bit left, not even enough for a whole bowl, sad) and watched another episode of Life.
• Bedtime by 11pm. So happy to be done with this day.