home ain’t where the heart is

We moved this week. That one sentence is smack full of emotion, stress, relief, anxiety, hope, and exhaustion.

Our closing in on Friday, but we moved out the weekend before because we didn’t want to be rushed and I wanted to have the time to properly clean the “old” house before we shut the doors for the last time. (I might cry.) But this also means that we are unpacking and shuffling things in and out of boxes.  We are staying with Jamie’s mom for a few weeks while we continue to search for a house.  So basically we are camping out, living out of suitcases, squatting, whatever phrase you like.  I’m so grateful that Jamie’s mom is awesome, and is happy to have us here.  … But still its just not ours, ya know?

After the truck was unloaded, the beds were re-assembled, and walking paths were cleared through the rubble, the first thing Jamie did was set up the wireless internet. Haha. The first thing I did was set up the bathroom.

Nothing says “vacation” or “just visiting” like carrying a shower bag with all your stuff in it back and forth from your sleeping quarters to the bathroom.  So in order to feel like home, my toothbrush needed a home.  I don’t think home is where the heart is, I think home is where your toothbrush lives.  You can sleep anywhere, but if your toothbrush is all snuggly and warm in its little cup beside the sink, and your girlie goods have a hiding place, then you can feel settled.

Now begins the awkward dance of adjusting to a new home, someone else’s home, and how your life works in this new territory. But at least my toothbrush has staked its claim.

spread your love and fly

I was driving around town the other day, flipping stations, searching for a song that was entertaining yet suitable for a 15 month old to hear (a challenge, I tell ya), when this song came on.

Instantly I was in 7th grade, standing on Mary’s back deck at her birthday party, wondering if David was going to ask me out, and wondering what I should answer.  I vividly remember that excitement deep in my stomach.  A feeling that was always so prevalent back then. Its the same uneasy, unsure, pure excitement that I always felt at the State Fair as a teen.  Where did it go? When did it go? All I know is that its rarely ever there anymore.

Maybe it was the raging hormones of teenage crushes, maybe it was the thrill of the unknown future, maybe it was just a digestive disorder. I don’t know, but I miss it.  I think the last time I really remember its presence is when Jamie and I were dating.  I remember our first official date was to the Fair, I remember him giving me a hug, and those butterflies almost made me throw up! (Of course, that probably partially was a lingering stomach bug that had me bed ridden the week before, LOL).  I remember being consumed with wondering if he was going to hold my hand. I remember the excitement in the pit of my stomach.

I heard a quote in a show where the mom was asking “Where did the passion and excitement I had 5 years ago go?!” Her husband said, “Back then you didn’t know what your life would be like. And now you know.” I still have dreams, things I’m working towards and goals I want to accomplish. So there is still some unknown in the future. But where did that excitement go? Is that just a part of getting older? Cause if it is, then that sucks.

I don’t really have any answers, I just wanted to share my little trip down memory lane and its subsequent questions.  What are your thoughts?

Triangle Memory Walk 2009

On Saturday, my family and I participated in the Triangle Memory Walk, in support of Alzheimer’s research and patient care.

An aerobics instructor getting everyone moving before the walk

It was a pretty cool event. I hadn’t ever done one before.  But this one was special to us.

The back of the shirts we made.

Our grandfather was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s last year. It has been a strange road. My grandmother (my dad’s mom) was diagnosed several years ago, and is very advanced in the disease. So its been tough seeing Granddaddy in the beginning stages of it, knowing where it can lead. We’ve been wanting to do something, and when this walk came up, we knew it was a perfect opportunity.

There were over 2,500 people registered to walk, and they all raised over $130,000!  There were groups there like ours, walking in honor of a loved one. There were community groups, sororities, and there were even nursing home employees pushing patients through the walk.  It was really awesome.

Me, Mom, Erin, Kristen, Jill, Ellen, Christine, & the babies

I think we’ll do it again next year. It was nice to do something productive as a family. It was only a mile & a half walk, but it feels like we really accomplished something.

all tuckered out from her long walk