Raising Eve

I’m teaching a Connect Group right now for high school & college girls based on the book Captivating by Stasi Elderidge. It is an amazing book. If you are a female, you should read it. If you are a guy but have a female in your life (or ever hope to), you should read it. The basic message of the book is that God created women to be unique and spectacular, but because of our fallen nature, we can really mess up and lose touch with the true heart that God created us with. When God created Adam and Eve, he split his heart into two. He gave one half of his heart, his personality to Adam, and the complimentary part to Eve. Eve was created with the Desire to be Romanced, the Desire to Have in Irreplaceable Role In A Great Adventure, and to Unveil Beauty. Those things in our hearts fuel every thing we do, every thought we have, and every action we take. When you look at the story of Creation, you can see that God’s creative genius didn’t end with Adam, but with Eve. From the simplicity of Light and Dark, to the complexity of all the creatures on earth, God’s creation was growing in intricacy and detail, in a great crescendo that came to its culmination with EVE. She is the crown of creation, the true masterpiece of the Creator. So why then do so many women struggle with relationships that are destructive and unfulilling, lives that are weary not from adventure but from mundane daily tasks, and constantly question whether or not they even have any beauty? That’s when you have to look at the story of Eve’s fall. Read in Genesis about this, and you’ll see that she began to doubt God’s heart for her, his true intention and purpose for her. She decided that since God was obviously holding out on her, she had to take it into her own hands! Then she violated her own nature by inviting Adam to his death, rather than inviting him to Life. Then you have to understand the curse that she suffered because of her disobedience. When you look at it, all her sufferings were relational, which shows why we struggle so much with relational issues now. So, because of her disobedience, Eve was left asking one central question, a question that plagues all her daughters to this day … “Am I Lovely?” Am I worth your time? Am I valuable enough to pursue? Am I beautiful enough to capture and hold your affection? You can see little girls ask this question long before they can even comprehend what they are asking. You can see it in the little girl in the ballet tu-tu spinning, the little girl dressed in her mommy’s shoes prancing in front of a mirror, in the little girl standing on the coffee table belting out the newest song she just learned for any ears that may be inclined to listen. She longs to know that she is Captivating. When we get an answer to our question, we decide our view of the world. If we recieve the answer of “no, you aren’t lovely”, then we begin to change the way we present ourselves in order to get a better answer next time. Some of the worst wounds a little girl can recieve are from her parents. If her father is absent (physically or emotionally), then she decides that she was not enough to keep him interested in her. If her mother is too critical, demanding, or trying to live her life through her daughter, then the little girl draws conclusions that she herself is not worth much.

The prospects of raising a daughter are becoming more and more daunting as this pregnancy goes along. Women are such emotional creatures, by design. It is our greatest strength … and our greatest weakness. I want Charlotte to live up to her name, “Warrior Princess”. I want her to be strong, fierce, fighting for what is right and good, but at the same time gentle, caring, compassionate, and loving. God created women to be all of those things, because He Himself embodies those qualities too. I want her to be unique and special, but not in a weird unpopular kind of way (does that even make sense?). I want her to be one of those girls in high school that everyone wants to be and be friends with. But how do I instill that in her? I guess the best way to do that is to embrace and nourish those things that God has placed in her heart. She is a unique being, totally separate and different than any other human on earth. So what has God placed in her heart? What is her calling? Where does she fit in His great plan? I guess that is one of the cool things about being a mom… I get to watch first hand as her personality blooms and God begins to reveal His call on her life. What a responsibility! I need His help more than ever as I face this new calling on MY life! As scary as it can be … I’m so excited.

26124_72_170.jpg(Angel of Mine by Willow Tree)

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3 thoughts on “Raising Eve

  1. no doubt that you both will be great parents. you just study and pray like crazy and wake up every day trying to do a little better than the day before.

  2. This might be one of the most beautiful & REAL things that I’ve ever read. As I read precisely what you want for your daughter, it was as if I was reading my own thoughts for my own daughter!! I struggle with teaching her enough about strength to make her strong, but at the same time, enough about gentleness to make her loving. The older she gets & the more I learn, the more I realize that the best gift comes first from the relationship between Brian & I, second, with her relationship with her dad!…& then the example & the relationship that I myself maintain with her. There seems to be a fine line between being a mother & being a friend… you don’t want to be too overbearing with either. I liked the way Sharon Kelly put it, “a hovering parent”… not so involved that we live our lives through them, but involved enough that we always have a close relationship.

    There are so many of us that are traveling this journey with you & want… word for exact word… what you want for your daughter. By the trust & grace of God… we’ll do the best we can with what we know!

    & I will definitely be reading this book!

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