My “Ah-Ha” Moment

This past Sunday night, we had Angela Courte minister at the church.

If you weren’t there … you seriously missed it! It was awesome.  Most people don’t know how much I really love music.  Ever since I was little, I loved singing.  After high school, I never really did much with it though.  As I watched Angela sing, play, and worship, I really got a deep longing to “be that”.  I want my kids to look back on their childhood and remember the songs we sang, like you see in movies. I want them to hear a song that I sang for them, and be comforted.  I don’t want to be a praise & worship leader, by any means … but to be able to share what God has given me would be so great.  I remember last night thinking, “God I want to be able to do what she is doing”.  Then I heard very clearly, “Yet you don’t do anything with what I’ve already given you.”  I’ve always wanted voice lessons, piano lessons, guitar lessons, violin lessons, etc … and I guess I’ve been using that as an excuse.  So when I reminded God that I really wanted to do those things, He reminded me that I’m not even being faithful with the little natural ability He’s already given me.

I know that the Bible says that you have to be faithful with little before you can be trusted to be faithful with much.  And so maybe thats why I haven’t ever progressed any further with my musical interests.  It is so silly, but Jamie will ask me to sing for him, and I get too embarrassed.  In high school, I was actually thankful to get strep so that I could get out of the solo I had competed for!  I don’t know why I do that … I guess I could psychoanalyze it back to something in my childhood, maybe I wasn’t encouraged enough, maybe I was told I was too loud, whatever.  But either way, if I ever want to actually embody the vision I have, I have to be faithful with what I have now … not wait for what could happen “if only”.  … but don’t start asking me to sing for you, because I probably won’t.  [smile].  This could take a while …


One thought on “My “Ah-Ha” Moment

  1. Jen-thanx for that post. your transparency helps others become stronger, and personally streches me to be more than i have allowed myself to be. thank you for you showing us your heart.

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