One of the lovely things about pregnancy is the sheer amount of hormones that are pumping through you at any given moment. These lovely new friends can bring with them moments of unexplicable crying … and more likely in my case … uncommon rage. Sure, people have joked that I have an alter ego named CJ (Commando Jenn), but I’ve done really well to keep her under control. (But hey, when things need to be done, they need to be done, and if you aren’t moving as fast as I think you should be to get them done, then I might just tell you). But I have noticed that over the past 38+ weeks, I’ve succomed to moments of sheer anger over the dumbest things. Today for example …
We were at a local restaurant eating lunch. There was a large group of us and the restaurant was a buffett, so that means there were a lot of empty plates scattered about the table. The table behind us got up to leave, and thier dirty plates were still on thier table. So, we put a few of our dirty stacks over there too, to get them off our table, since the bus-boy was gonna have to get them either way. So as we were placing some plates on that table, said bus-boy approached. I was sitting in just the right place to see his facial expressions and watch his mouth form unutterable words. To put it nicely, he was “upset” that he had to pick up some extra plates and proceeded to call the people at our table some choice adjectives. Well, it enraged me. And if you know me, you know that I don’t hide my emotions from my face very well. So I’m sitting there staring at this kid in horror that he would have the nerve to say such horrible things about the people who were paying his probably measly little paycheck. Well, everyone sitting near me saw my face of horror, and of course promptly asked what was wrong. And me, being me and pregnant me, proceeded to tell them exactly what had made me so angry … knowing that bus-boy was only a few feet away.
So that begs the question … was it the hormones, or was I just not very nice?
Of course, until about an hour ago, I felt completely justified in my anger. After all, its not like he was being forced to pick up those dishes like a servant, he was getting paid to do so for goodness sake! But then, as my nappie time wore on, I remembered what Pastor Jamie taught about this morning. Sigh. This kid probably was dealing with some crappy stuff in his life, probably just got chewed out by his boss, was looked down upon by his co-workers for being just the bus-boy, probably got paid some ridiculously low amount to pick up after people, and just didn’t want to be bothered at that moment with picking up our dishes. Granted, he probably could learn a lesson to “say” things inside his head instead of mouth them out where people can see exactly what he’s saying. But still. I don’t know what was going on in his life, but I proceeded to freak out and he probably very well heard me. Which I’m sure didn’t make his day any better.
So, I guess I don’t really have an excuse. Hormones or not, it wasn’t very nice. I should probably download the weekend message and listen to it several times… and let it really sink in. http://www.lwfc.org/downloads