give and take

There are so many things that I want to do.  There are so many things that I need to do.  But then there are the things that actually get done.  I have all these big, grandiose ideas of the kind of person I want to be, as a wife, a mother, a friend; but yet the daily minute decisions I make do not lead me to that destination.  When I could be reorganizing my house to be more efficient, I choose to read some blogs.  When I could call a friend to come over for lunch, I decide that I have too much “house work” to do to take the time out.  I want to start a new blog, I want to write a book, I want to learn a new language, I want to learn to play an instrument, I want to make homemade stuff, I want to be “that mom”.  But what am I doing?  Eating breakfast at 9:30am watching The Starter Wife’s newest episode on Hulu.

I don’t know where it is, I’d have to look it up (and probably should have, but yet, it was just another one of those decisions…), but I think Paul in the Bible talked about doing the things he didn’t want to and not doing the things he wanted to.  I want to want to do things, if that makes sense.  Its not enough to think about doing things, I have to actually do them.  There are a couple of small town churches near my house that I pass everyday that have those signs outside that they put sayings on like “don’t let worry kill you, let the church help”.  One of them says: “Reputation- built on follow through, not intended to”.  So profound.  We judge ourselves by our intentions but others by thier actions.  I intended to call my friend, but didn’t, yet I still give myself a pat on the back for thinking about it.  But when no one calls me to check on me, I get sad.  I know I’m not alone in this, but its still just so silly.

I think each day I will have a small goal or two to accomplish that will help me get one step closer to accomplishing my long term goals.  Today’s tasks – clean the house and package up clothes to give away.

What are you doing today that’s pushing you forward?

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2 thoughts on “give and take

  1. wow. I might as well have been reading about myself… line for line. This was really, REALLY good & although I’ve never thought to write a blog about it, I must think these EXACT thoughts 20 times a day! seriously.

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