spread your love and fly

I was driving around town the other day, flipping stations, searching for a song that was entertaining yet suitable for a 15 month old to hear (a challenge, I tell ya), when this song came on.

Instantly I was in 7th grade, standing on Mary’s back deck at her birthday party, wondering if David was going to ask me out, and wondering what I should answer.  I vividly remember that excitement deep in my stomach.  A feeling that was always so prevalent back then. Its the same uneasy, unsure, pure excitement that I always felt at the State Fair as a teen.  Where did it go? When did it go? All I know is that its rarely ever there anymore.

Maybe it was the raging hormones of teenage crushes, maybe it was the thrill of the unknown future, maybe it was just a digestive disorder. I don’t know, but I miss it.  I think the last time I really remember its presence is when Jamie and I were dating.  I remember our first official date was to the Fair, I remember him giving me a hug, and those butterflies almost made me throw up! (Of course, that probably partially was a lingering stomach bug that had me bed ridden the week before, LOL).  I remember being consumed with wondering if he was going to hold my hand. I remember the excitement in the pit of my stomach.

I heard a quote in a show where the mom was asking “Where did the passion and excitement I had 5 years ago go?!” Her husband said, “Back then you didn’t know what your life would be like. And now you know.” I still have dreams, things I’m working towards and goals I want to accomplish. So there is still some unknown in the future. But where did that excitement go? Is that just a part of getting older? Cause if it is, then that sucks.

I don’t really have any answers, I just wanted to share my little trip down memory lane and its subsequent questions.  What are your thoughts?


One thought on “spread your love and fly

  1. i have absolutely, 100% wondered the exact same thing, Jennifer. i have yet to figure out where it has gone, but i do know, that EVERY now and then…chris somehow sparks it back up…not sure how…doesn’t last for long…but the excitement and anticipation is somehow there. …love the trip down memory lane…LOVE IT!!

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