forget the instruction manual!

I’ve often wished that children came with an instruction manual. Or even a remote control, with buttons like “feed” “change diaper” “mute”. Haha. Don’t judge me, you know you’ve thought the same thing. But today I realized that an instruction manual isn’t enough. Today I discovered something that I wish had come pre-installed.  I never, ever, in my life, ever thought I’d have to teach my child how and where to throw up. I thought this was just instinctual. Nope. Its not.

Charlotte woke up this morning crying about a tummy ache. As we were sitting on the couch watching a cartoon, she started crying again, and then it happened. All over my shirt. I rushed her to the bathroom, where she proceeded to empty her empty tummy in every direction BUT towards the toilet. I’m just thankful it happened before breakfast. Ew. Jamie and I both took turns holding her hands down and leaning her over the toilet. Well, three outfits and a couple of naps later, she’s doing fine. Needless to say, today is a couch day. Pajamas, cartoons, snuggles, and naps.

Yeah, I’m good with that.

Realizing my dreams, unfortunately.

I’ve always said that when I get old, I wanted to be one of those grandmas who has long grey hair.  Perhaps its the confidence those women portray by letting their hair be natural. Maybe its the hippie buried deep inside that longs to one day be let out.  My sister and mother first starting greying when they were teenagers.  I did not. In fact I can say with complete confidence, that I have never found a single grey hair.  Until now.

There she is. In all her tiny grey glory.  Please excuse the Danny Zuko look, I had just taken a shower when I spotted the beast.  So now I’m faced with a dilemma.  Embrace my vision, albeit WAAAAAYYY sooner than I ever hoped it would begin.  Or live in denial, yank it out, and pretend nothing ever happened.  I’m sure some of you are probably laughing hysterically at me, for fretting over this less than 2 inches long grey hair.  But its a sign that I’m not 16 anymore… and I’m dealing with that.  I need to feel a bit better, so I would LOVE to hear your stories of discovering your first grey, or your nightmares at the thought of that day ever happening.  And what are your thoughts- go natural or DYE baby DYE?

On to other hair news, cause I know you care. My poor shower drain just cannot keep up with this postpartum hair loss.  After Charlotte was born, it wasn’t that bad. I do think I remember posting something about going bald. But in retrospect, that was NOTHING.  Each time I shower, I have to clear off the drain at least once, and today I had to clean it off 3 TIMES!  Ugh.  The hormones that go along with having a boy.

So, to sum this all up- I found a grey hair, and I’m not completely sure if I will have any hair left to dye.  How’s THAT for a bad hair day?!

But seriously, please share your stories, I’m interested to hear them… I could use a good laugh! Or cry. Both are therapeutic!

Money can’t buy you class

I have mixed feelings on Donald Trump. He’s great entertainment because of his off the wall comments and his lack of ability to censor himself.  Yet he’s super intimidating. I think if I was ever in the same room as him, I’d try my best to disappear into the back wall and hope he didn’t see me.  But oh, I LOVE LOVE LOVE Celebrity Apprentice. Not so much for the Donald, as for watching the celebrities make complete fools of themselves.  Is that wrong?  And this season has been crammed full of some world class crazy.  First of all, we had Gary Busey. That man is a bonafide lunatic.  His acronyms for E.V.E.R.Y.T.H.I.N.G are humorous and annoying all at the same time, and he had some strange obsession with rainbows. I think he mentioned rainbows in just about every episode.  And not to be outdone, Meatloaf (really, you couldn’t go with your real name. everyone had to call you Meat?) is coo-coo too. He just hides it better than Gary… until he explodes all over your face and the entire episode is bleeped and blurred because he can’t control his potty-mouth.  But all in all, I like the men’s team the best.  Unless we are talking about entertainment. Then the women’s team have to win.  There has been some crazy backstabbing hair pulling diva showdowns on team ASAP.  But nothing. I repeat- NOTHING. Can compare to the meltdown that happened this past week with NeNe Leakes and Star Jones.

Now, don’t misunderstand me. I think Star Jones is totally manipulating the woman to her advantage. NeNe and Latoya Jackson are fairly spot-on with their accusations, as far as I can tell.  But that doesn’t excuse the kind of harassment Star endured from NeNe.  Its one thing to have an argument in front of your team.  If you have issues, get them out, deal with them, and move on.  But there is no need to air all that anger and hostility in FRONT OF YOUR CLIENT.  Not classy, NeNe, not classy at all.  It doesn’t matter how rich you are, you don’t act like that.  I’ve heard it said that you can take the girl out of the honky tonk, but you can’t take the honky tonk out of the girl.  It does matter how you were raised.

And now to bring this post back to something outside of the television– I want to make sure I raise my daughter with class, and dignity, and respect, and gentility, and civility. I don’t care if she is rich and famous one day. I want to know that the people around her respect her and that she treats others with respect.  I want her to be a lady.

For your Sunday enjoyment…

(found these online, didnt make them myself)

Truths For Mature Humans

1. I think part of a best friend’s job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.

2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you’re wrong.

3. I totally take back all those times I didn’t want to nap when I was younger.

4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.

5. How the heck are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

6. Was learning cursive really necessary?

7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I’m pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

9. I can’t remember the last time I wasn’t at least kind of tired.

10. Bad decisions make good stories.
11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren’t going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.

12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don’t want to have to restart my collection…again.

13. I’m always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to.

14. “Do not machine wash or tumble dry” means I will never wash this – ever.

15. I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Crap!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voice mail. What did you do after I didn’t answer? Drop the phone and run away?

16. I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.

17. I keep some people’s phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.

18. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

19. (not worth repeating)

20. I wish Google Maps had an “Avoid Ghetto” routing option.

21. Sometimes, I’ll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the heck was going on when I first saw it.

22. I would rather try to carry 10 over-loaded plastic bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.

23. The only time I look forward to a red light is when I’m trying to finish a text.

24. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

25. How many times is it appropriate to say “What?” before you just nod and smile because you still didn’t hear or understand a word they said?

26. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!

27. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.

28. (not worth repeating)

29. There’s no worse feeling than that millisecond you’re sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.

30. As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate bicyclists.

31. Sometimes I’ll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.

32. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey – but I’d bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time!

Photo Challenge: Day 9 & 10

Day 09 – A picture of the person who has gotten you through the most

Day 10 – A picture of the person you do the craziest things with

These are the Cain Cousins in birth order– Erin, (Sean), Ellen, Jill, Andy, Jennifer, Kristen, Bailey.  Growing up with these crazy people provided opportunity for some crazy adventures.  And no, I probably won’t be expounding upon that 🙂